His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
