You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
