Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
