Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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