eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
