I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
