A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
