I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you would pick up someone in the library
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
