i was born a porn star she said
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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