what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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