I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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