Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
