Me too!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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