I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
