Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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