Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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