I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
