i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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