The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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