i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
