You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
