For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
