I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I use my feet as sexual weapons
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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