considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Bring me that man meat
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
