i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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