Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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