he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
