My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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