I wish I could punch you in the face.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
