guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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