girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
