My cat gives me a boner
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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