Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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