Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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