I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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