i would punch a child for taco bell
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
