Dual....:-)
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
