I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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