you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
