you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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