Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
