Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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