is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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