i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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