I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
