so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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