Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
