mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So vagazzling was a success
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize