is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
