Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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