What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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