wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
