I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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