someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
