with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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