Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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