i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
