u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
