isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
