is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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