Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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