the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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