yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
