You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
